Think back to yesterday and everyone you met. Think back to yesterday and everyone you passed by.

Insecurities be vanquished

Comparisons go to hell.

pathway

This speaks for itself.

Dear relationships:

Well, hello blog. It has been a while.  I believe that you are evidence at my inability to sustain too many relationships at once. I think that I am at a loss. At a loss with myself to be exact. I can maintain and develop some relationships, even new ones, but can't seem to stretch beyond a few. Why is that? I think perhaps...part avoidance, anger, disappointment, fear, stress, overwhelming feelings...who knows. I think there is a definite part of my that still feels like a victim. A survivor but still a victim.

Does this feeling fade with time? Let me just throw that question out into the unidentified expansive universe.

I can't talk but then feel sad that no one listens.  See any irony in that? And if I chose to talk, it is like the same thing over and over because it isn't settled, it isn't resolved, it isn't forgotten.

The solution: Time. I hope.

Even now I write without hope that anyone would listen.
Close friends, I can't reach out in real life, but here:
I miss you. But I am scared. I am scared of responsibility. I am scared of remembering. I am scared of not being able to be a friend.

Family, I am scared and tired. I just want to be forgiven and given some leeway. I love you all. very much. i just have a blockage. I don't know why. or maybe I do.

The title of this blog is unfinished business....how appropriate.

Anyone out there?

What is the point of this blog? How do people read blogs? I think mine becomes lost in space-web space and then no one can find it. Well probably, no one is looking for it and this lovely blog ends up being just me, writing and reading and wondering if anyone will ever visit...=) Who knows...

The Weiner Dog Terror or Sweet Leyla? Depends on who you ask...

So for the past week and a half I have had the pleasure of taking care of my parent's new puppy: Leyla. Boy was I excited when I first received the news. Little did I know how "wonderful" it would be. Even more, little did Greg know how greatly difficult it would be for him. This cute little weiner dog of bounding energy has terrorized us and enriched us for the last week and a half. To give you an idea of lovely Leyla, who by the way is not potty trained, we are going to have to rent one of those little carpet clearners from HEB. Greg's and my conversations when I walk in the door is,: Audra - it happened seven times today. You can guess what you think that means... Anyways. I am going to miss her when she leaves but OH MY GOSH, I will be so grateful - WAIT- scratch that - Greg will be so thankful to not have to clean up after her all the time.

A month or so back I considered getting a puppy. What was I thinking???? Sigh. Just think - picture bubble appears out of no where: 3 dogs and 2 cats - all in one 2 bedroom apartment. Right - IMPOSSIBLE.

Hike into hell

Today is the 4th of July - independence day. In a burst of seeming ingenuity, myself, Greg, and a friend decide to trek out to Pedernales Falls, a drive into oblivion for a day of hiking, hot, and watering holes. Getting out of the apartment late, got us started late. From then on out it was one thing after another, and it was anything from an "independent day." (lol) First off, without printed or recollected directions we drive on and on, only to at one point say (after passing Pedernales river 20 miles back) that we have gone too far. No really! Who would have thought. With the help of the cell phone, a friend at home in their apartment gets us directions - again - the dependence thing...

What I failed to mention thus far is that along with three people, there was three dogs - my two and my parents 5 month old puppy who we are taking care of. Ironically, on day of independence I was anything, I mean Anything! but independent. I was chained, pulled, twisted, half-tripped, driven insane, the list goes on, by these three dogs.

Picture this: Three people walked down a very disappointing hiking path as they hold three extendable leashes that would twist and tangle and trap the three as they walked. Not far into the walk, the dogs give up, literally stop walking and lay themselves down on the hot gravel. Thus the journey only gets better...we have to take turns carrying the dogs to give them breaks. How ridiculous is that!!! It is hilarious thinking back because we had to carry the dogs. Ha ha. They are such wimps - I have turned them into these weaklings that are more like toddlers that dogs that can live in the wild. Sigh, thus I must carry them when needed, coddle them when needed because it is my fault, because they would definitely not survive in the wild. What a sight that would be, the three dogs starving in the wilderness, sitting in the same spot, whining and waiting, thinking I am coming back, food in my arms.

Luckily, the hike is over and it was without a doubt an experience. Though, I have certainly learned a lesson. Can you guess what it is?

The neglected blog/the neglected creative self of me

It has been so long since I have even thought of this blog and now that I think of it, I feel as if I have been missing something. Day in and day out: work, eat, tv, sleep and then repeat the pattern all over again. I have not written or done anything creative - instead I have stifled myself. I have only myself to blame. The whole point of this blog is interesting really. I write for me but in the end I hope someone sees it because that gives me a sense of satisfaction. So I guess in reality I don't just crave the sense of creativity but the sense of validation and hope that people like the way I write. I'd like to write one day - the only glitch is, that I like this type of writing where I can write whatever comes to my head about a particular thing or another. That would be a job! I could travel like Carrie in Sex in the City; however I would definitely not been close to being as fashionable seeing as I don't have the fashion guts to branch out, and as seeing that I really don't even have a clue as to my own fashion. Okay I am just getting my feet wet so I will be back in a while.

Back from the dead

Just trying to see if this works...

Nothing

I was listening to music on my drive to San Antonio, and I realized that music can be a dangerous thing. It can make you think about what you might not have thought about otherwise. It sucks you in and spits you out - leaving you to deal with the consequences. Sometimes it's good, but other times, not so much...

Car Troubles Tumble down

People say that bad things happen in 3's. So where does that leave me? Three weeks ago I had to replace my timing belt for the 2nd time! The 2nd time! Cna you believe it? Well then I hit a bunny driving in the pitch black darkness of the never ever known world on the way to Shiner, TX. It was like a scene in the Blitchware project movie that came out a few years ago. And then yesterday, oh YESTERDAY. I have a million leaks in my car which amount in cost to more that my car is worth. Then this morning, a flat tire.
Sigh. I cannot be eloquent or properly expressive.