Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Sharing with others is an essential aspect of our existence.
It feels awful when people you value and care about don't take the time to listen to what you believe in. Sometimes you only become sure of what you believe when you talk to someone you trust about your thoughts.
Monday, April 18, 2005
Living Alone
ALL BY MYSELF...DONT WANNA BE...ALL BY MYSELF...
or so Celine Dion likes to sing it, but she doesn't have to be so negative!
In less than a month I will be living alone. I have never lived alone before, so while I am looking forward to the experience I am scared shitless that I will stalk through my apartment at dusk with my sharpest knife in hand on a mission to discover any bad guys who might be lurking behind the next counter or past the next one wall of my small one bedroom. Good news though!!! My mighty doxies will protect me with their ferocious teeth and mean growls; I am sure never to be harmed.
On a more serious note, it is interesting how living alone is often looked at as a growth opportunity. People say, "You should live alone at least once in your life just so you know you can." WHat is that?? Just so I know I can do what? Defend myself against the loan gunman who stalks my front porch. Just so I can come home and say "Walls I'm home!" What is the point, really! I think living alone is overrated.
However...I will say that I am honestly looking forward to the experience, because I am embracing the idea that it WILL be good for me. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, they say - who is THEY by the way? Who actually says that? Probably the spectators on the edge of the road who watch the head on collision of a civic and a dodge ram.
Living alone could lead to mental disturbances on the otherhand. Sitting on the couch watching American Idol and talking to yourself because you have no one else there and then before you know you are your own best friend. Time passes and you arent even talking out loud anymore, it's all in your head. Good thing I have dogs, HAH!! I can talk to them lol! THat makes it sooo much better doesn't it.
I feel positive about it though. I think I am going to like it. And...I am sooo soo excited!!!
or so Celine Dion likes to sing it, but she doesn't have to be so negative!
In less than a month I will be living alone. I have never lived alone before, so while I am looking forward to the experience I am scared shitless that I will stalk through my apartment at dusk with my sharpest knife in hand on a mission to discover any bad guys who might be lurking behind the next counter or past the next one wall of my small one bedroom. Good news though!!! My mighty doxies will protect me with their ferocious teeth and mean growls; I am sure never to be harmed.
On a more serious note, it is interesting how living alone is often looked at as a growth opportunity. People say, "You should live alone at least once in your life just so you know you can." WHat is that?? Just so I know I can do what? Defend myself against the loan gunman who stalks my front porch. Just so I can come home and say "Walls I'm home!" What is the point, really! I think living alone is overrated.
However...I will say that I am honestly looking forward to the experience, because I am embracing the idea that it WILL be good for me. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, they say - who is THEY by the way? Who actually says that? Probably the spectators on the edge of the road who watch the head on collision of a civic and a dodge ram.
Living alone could lead to mental disturbances on the otherhand. Sitting on the couch watching American Idol and talking to yourself because you have no one else there and then before you know you are your own best friend. Time passes and you arent even talking out loud anymore, it's all in your head. Good thing I have dogs, HAH!! I can talk to them lol! THat makes it sooo much better doesn't it.
I feel positive about it though. I think I am going to like it. And...I am sooo soo excited!!!
Monday, April 04, 2005
Certainty
Is anything certain in life? If you name something like God, you have to step back and say, well.... If you mention something like love, I will call you insane. Friendship - never certain. What about familial love? No I would have to say, it is not certain. Watch the news enough and you will agree.
Death...looks like it might be the only thing, but for the sake of this blog, we are going to temporarily disregard it after this admission.
Why can't anything be certain? Who knows right?
I find myself in an almost ever present state of worry, anxiety about the "dreaded" future. The what-ifs of life.... What if I am with the wrong guy. What if my parents die too soon. What if I lose the people I care about. What if I don't have any friends that care enough to work to maintain our friendship. What if I die young and never get to do the things in life I couldn't even begin to dream existed. What if my life is filled with so many what-ifs that what I am living now passes me by without me even knowing.
Too bad you can't stop thoughts sometimes. It would be nice.
juxtaposed against a starless sky against the backdrop of spring's new grass. my life, and the silence.
Death...looks like it might be the only thing, but for the sake of this blog, we are going to temporarily disregard it after this admission.
Why can't anything be certain? Who knows right?
I find myself in an almost ever present state of worry, anxiety about the "dreaded" future. The what-ifs of life.... What if I am with the wrong guy. What if my parents die too soon. What if I lose the people I care about. What if I don't have any friends that care enough to work to maintain our friendship. What if I die young and never get to do the things in life I couldn't even begin to dream existed. What if my life is filled with so many what-ifs that what I am living now passes me by without me even knowing.
Too bad you can't stop thoughts sometimes. It would be nice.
juxtaposed against a starless sky against the backdrop of spring's new grass. my life, and the silence.
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